7.21.2006

A new day

Today is a new day for me. I am in the middle of an incredibly difficult time in my life. I have tried to change it, control it, ignore it and walk away from it, but it seems I have only one option left. That is to walk through it. Will I be alone? I feel alone and rejected, but am I? I feel left out, pushed aside, but should I live on my feelings? God says "NO!" He is the One to hang on to when things are difficult, painful and full of suffering. Am I the one to say, "Enough!" Sure! Does He hear my prayer? Absolutely. But He is God and knows all things. He knows that He is completing His work in me and what that will take. So as He reaches down to me, I am choosing to take His hand and take care of my buisness, not anyone else's. I am done acting in accordance with my circumstances. He is asking me to rise above, not alone, but with Him. So here I go, again. Feeling like I am in the last seconds and that the game is almost over. Feeling like the losing team. And yet, who can be against me, when God is for me? Is that easy to believe? No. Do I doubt God? No. But I do ask "How?" How will He accomplish all that He has for me and my children in the midst of such pain and suffering, along with me being me. Today I choose to focus on Him, all that He has promised me and my children and go to sleep tonight knowing He is my God, my Father, and my Friend. My protector and my shield. He is the almighty God.