You are now a part of.......
"the most influential societies of the world. What kind of power you ask?" And can you guess where I saw this? I joined the blizzard club at DQ! Yea they got power, advertising power. How many times have I driven past a DQ withOUT stopping for a blizzard? In the winter, but they are CLOSED!!
Today I find myself reading this in my email because I really just joined last night. I was headed out to get blizzards and gas and was hoping to find a coupon if I joined. NOPE! So then I listen to Dailyaudiobible podcast today and Brian is talking about the Windfarm and how it is part of a global movementt of the most powerful prayer movement in history. He said that is very cool, we need to keep our eyes on the ball. Hellow the ball, not the blizzard. The ball would represent God in this situation. ;The blizzard represents food. Obeying, focusing on Him, not the food, not the next thing that may or may not make me feel good. BUT GOD!
Funny isn't, it, how we buy into this whole idea of being influenced by food. How can food run our lives? How can it this thing with no ability to fling itself into our mouths, run our lives, run our minds amuck and convince us without it or with it, THIS IS THE only way to our destination of being accepted. We won't get there. Not on that path. We know this. I know this!!
So I guess I am speaking to myself. Wake up Leslie. Get a grip. Where do you want to go and which path is the best way there. I believe choosing to seek His face, walk humbly with Him, pray on my face, confessing along the way, not staying in confessing, but accepting his forgiveness in order to move on and live in Freedom. I want my "land" healed! I want to claim the "land" of my body again.
So another new beginning in the last second.....maybe and that is totally cool with Him. I hear Him saying....NICE!
7.22.2009
6.08.2009
Hebrews 5:7
Hebrews 5:7
"In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His piety."
I love this about Jesus. He is so real, crying out asking God for everything, even in the midst of going to the cross. He never turned His back on His Father. He knew God His Father was going to allow great suffering in His future. Suffering we can't begin to imagine, and yet He modeled how to stay close to God in the midst of such great circumstances that would look like God isn't there and is turning His back on Him. He continued on in communication with His Father. He didn't develop an attitude or change His direction or decide to just give up. He stayed close to His Father and waited for Him to guide Him through every step of the way. All for us, undeserving of so much, but yet He did it anyway.
He models this beautifully and lovingly as if to say, "I understand my dear child, your suffering hurts, you circumstances are difficult, but I love you so much I went through and walked out my own suffering so you could see you can do it and you will claim victory when it is all said and done. Walk victoriously, as if you already have come through the fire, do the next right thing, while you are crying out to Your Father, Abba Father, the One who loves you so much, it is indescribable."
I love Jesus and how no matter what my life looks like, He knows and He shows me how to navigate it all!
"In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His piety."
I love this about Jesus. He is so real, crying out asking God for everything, even in the midst of going to the cross. He never turned His back on His Father. He knew God His Father was going to allow great suffering in His future. Suffering we can't begin to imagine, and yet He modeled how to stay close to God in the midst of such great circumstances that would look like God isn't there and is turning His back on Him. He continued on in communication with His Father. He didn't develop an attitude or change His direction or decide to just give up. He stayed close to His Father and waited for Him to guide Him through every step of the way. All for us, undeserving of so much, but yet He did it anyway.
He models this beautifully and lovingly as if to say, "I understand my dear child, your suffering hurts, you circumstances are difficult, but I love you so much I went through and walked out my own suffering so you could see you can do it and you will claim victory when it is all said and done. Walk victoriously, as if you already have come through the fire, do the next right thing, while you are crying out to Your Father, Abba Father, the One who loves you so much, it is indescribable."
I love Jesus and how no matter what my life looks like, He knows and He shows me how to navigate it all!
3.08.2009
I need a Genesis Week!
Psalm 51
1-3Generous in love—God, give grace! Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record.Scrub away my guilt,
soak out my sins in your laundry.
I know how bad I've been;
my sins are staring me down.
4-6 You're the One I've violated, and you've seen
it all, seen the full extent of my evil.
You have all the facts before you;
whatever you decide about me is fair.
I've been out of step with you for a long time,
in the wrong since before I was born.
What you're after is truth from the inside out.
Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.
7-15 Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean,
scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life.
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don't look too close for blemishes,
give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me,
shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don't throw me out with the trash,
or fail to breathe holiness in me.
Bring me back from gray exile,
put a fresh wind in my sails!
Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
so the lost can find their way home.
Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,
and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
Unbutton my lips, dear God;
I'll let loose with your praise.
16-17 Going through the motions doesn't please you,
a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship
when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
don't for a moment escape God's notice.
18-19 Make Zion the place you delight in,
repair Jerusalem's broken-down walls.
Then you'll get real worship from us,
acts of worship small and large,
Including all the bulls
they can heave onto your altar!
Wow! I need a Genesis week in the midst of my chaos! Please God give me a fresh start. I just want one more chance to do what you are asking me to do. I am so tired of Leslie...She is a loser and needs to be covered in the latitude of your grace. You are the molder, the potter the shaper of everything. I need You to perform a miracle here. Form a Genesis week from the chaos of my life. I know You can do this, it's a small thing for You to make a new beginning, a fresh start for me, this is what You do, from the beginning in Genesis. It's all about You and a fresh start, a new morning, a new sunrise, a new season...I need it all and then some. I ask for fresh wind in my sails. I love the beach, the breeze and both of those refresh me, so Lord bring on the Your fresh wind in my sails, I desparately need You breathing into my life. You are Holy God and You are always there for me to fill me up. I ask humbly for a job teaching the rebels Your ways so the lost can find their way home. Please Heavenly Father, I love You so much and trust You with all this.
Leslie, the loser, covered in Grace, Praise God!
All my hard work is not yielding anything....
Lev 25: 19-20 "I will break down your stubborn pride and make the sky above you like iron and the ground beneath you like bronze. Your strength will be spent in vain, because your soil will not yield its crops, nor will the trees of the land yield their fruit."
I was thinking today about all that is in these verses for me today. Verse 21 goes on to say and if you don't listen to God, guess what, things are going to get worse. So it's like I am in a hole dug by Leslie, and I can either get out now with a hand up, or dig deeper and then I am going to need more than a hand, an entire crew may need to show up! So pride is my issue today. It's easy to write about it, hard to admit, even harder to live with the consequences of it. I am embarrassed to say that I allowed pride to take root in my life and now here I sit on the sidelines of my own life, watching my friends, collegues move forward. It's a crappy feeling, knowing they are finishing before me. Pride again!
So I am so tired of running in my own strength and God has made it harder for me to run:
All my hard work in my education is not yielding anything in the classroom. People are questioning my very knowledge of the content. It's because God is not allowing me to move forward because of my pride. Wow!!
I can say I know how this feels, it takes all my energy. So enough rambling. I am going to start over today and see what God has for me next. I feel a breakthrough today and am so thankful that God rescued me again. I wonder if He ever gets tired of rescuing Leslie from herself?
I feel like God is breaking my stubborn pride right now. I feel my
strength is spent in vain, for nothing, so I took myself out of the
game. Or God did, but nonetheless, I am out. So I see verse 21 if I
remain hostile or refuse to listen to God right now, it's only going to
get worse. I am not safely under His wing. So my question to myself is
why would I continue not to listen to Him? I feel like I am
experiencing all of this in these two verses. I want to listen to God,
so I must get back on track today. I do feel like I have enemies right
now, the people in the school of EDU, my supervisor and my cooperating
teacher. It didn't matter how hard I tried to teach correctly, I
couldn't do it. I was too prideful about my own strength. Still trying
to prove that even though I have been left behind, I am strong. I am
learning the lesson of not doing it in my own strength. I am not sure
this has ever been so crystal clear to me. I actually can say I can
feel how it feels now. Inside my very being, I am struggling, but can't
get anywhere. Even in my own home. And with my own kids. Wow! God is
tenting among me, but I have somehow passed by the tabernacle for many
weeks now, trying to run on my own strength. Not even looking to the
fire or the cloud to see which way they are headed. Determined to get
my goals my way, my direction, not His. I guess I AM on the scenic
route. 3 weeks ago, my life was moving along in the wrong direction. I
ignored God speaking to my heart and here I am experiencing
consequences, just as His word says. My reputation could have been
ruined as a teacher and my career up in smoke. I am so thankful to be
here at His feet this morning and hearing Him again. I wasn't
listening. Seeking but setting all the wisdom aside for later. Now I am
ready to move forward, with less of me, not running on pride or my own
strength, for I am only what He has made me, or given me. I am His
period! I am ready now Lord, show me what is next, no matter what this
looks like, I trust You. Amen
I was thinking today about all that is in these verses for me today. Verse 21 goes on to say and if you don't listen to God, guess what, things are going to get worse. So it's like I am in a hole dug by Leslie, and I can either get out now with a hand up, or dig deeper and then I am going to need more than a hand, an entire crew may need to show up! So pride is my issue today. It's easy to write about it, hard to admit, even harder to live with the consequences of it. I am embarrassed to say that I allowed pride to take root in my life and now here I sit on the sidelines of my own life, watching my friends, collegues move forward. It's a crappy feeling, knowing they are finishing before me. Pride again!
So I am so tired of running in my own strength and God has made it harder for me to run:
All my hard work in my education is not yielding anything in the classroom. People are questioning my very knowledge of the content. It's because God is not allowing me to move forward because of my pride. Wow!!
I can say I know how this feels, it takes all my energy. So enough rambling. I am going to start over today and see what God has for me next. I feel a breakthrough today and am so thankful that God rescued me again. I wonder if He ever gets tired of rescuing Leslie from herself?
I feel like God is breaking my stubborn pride right now. I feel my
strength is spent in vain, for nothing, so I took myself out of the
game. Or God did, but nonetheless, I am out. So I see verse 21 if I
remain hostile or refuse to listen to God right now, it's only going to
get worse. I am not safely under His wing. So my question to myself is
why would I continue not to listen to Him? I feel like I am
experiencing all of this in these two verses. I want to listen to God,
so I must get back on track today. I do feel like I have enemies right
now, the people in the school of EDU, my supervisor and my cooperating
teacher. It didn't matter how hard I tried to teach correctly, I
couldn't do it. I was too prideful about my own strength. Still trying
to prove that even though I have been left behind, I am strong. I am
learning the lesson of not doing it in my own strength. I am not sure
this has ever been so crystal clear to me. I actually can say I can
feel how it feels now. Inside my very being, I am struggling, but can't
get anywhere. Even in my own home. And with my own kids. Wow! God is
tenting among me, but I have somehow passed by the tabernacle for many
weeks now, trying to run on my own strength. Not even looking to the
fire or the cloud to see which way they are headed. Determined to get
my goals my way, my direction, not His. I guess I AM on the scenic
route. 3 weeks ago, my life was moving along in the wrong direction. I
ignored God speaking to my heart and here I am experiencing
consequences, just as His word says. My reputation could have been
ruined as a teacher and my career up in smoke. I am so thankful to be
here at His feet this morning and hearing Him again. I wasn't
listening. Seeking but setting all the wisdom aside for later. Now I am
ready to move forward, with less of me, not running on pride or my own
strength, for I am only what He has made me, or given me. I am His
period! I am ready now Lord, show me what is next, no matter what this
looks like, I trust You. Amen
2.28.2009
He reached for my hand and said, "Baby, you are gonna get the whole package!"
The whole package? Really? I don't have to settle? You are not holding back on me? Honestly? Because I have been hearing that maybe you don't love me like you say,and You are holding back on me. Maybe You have forgotten about me or decided not to finish with me and I just get what I need on my own. But if You mean what You say, and I'm gonna get the whole package...then I will wait...Wait on You...
Waiting is not my specialty at all. Matter of fact I think the line for patience was so long I just moved on to the next thing. So lately I am trying to protect my mind in Christ Jesus, but in order to do that I need to go to Him and then He protects my mind. Happy New Year...I was with a friend in the hospital a while ago. We were holding hands after surgery with grateful hearts and he said something that made me think about God...We were talking about New Years Eve and I was asking if I could get a kiss and maybe we could grab a bite that night, if he was feeling better by then. He was in for unexpected surgery with no family in town, so he was stuck with me to help him. Yea, I know, what was God thinking?? :) Anyway, he responded with a glint in his over medicated eyes, Baby you are going to get the "whole package". I thought *Wow!* He went on to say, we would get dressed up, go to a nice dinner and maybe some dancing! And he promised I would get a kiss! This got me to thinking about God and what He has for me, as my friend was still so tired because he had just come up from recovery, he fell back to sleep. So I sat with him and considered, God and what His "whole package" looks like for me. Hmmm...well He does know all my hearts desires, and He does love me more that I can imagine, so I wonder.....what is in His mind for me? I need more time to consider this....In the meantime, it was cool to wait with my friend as he recovered. I was able to spend time with God while sitting and waiting for my friend to wake up. It's funny how holding hands with a close friend, while they sleep brings my mind to God and how He chose me to be there. Maybe that is part of the total package for me. Getting to be there, just Be there for a friend, it certainly made my heart full. So the package isn't one thing, it's dinner, dancing and a kiss! And God could have other choices too, that can be added on as I go!
2 cor 2:11 josh 21:45 hebrews 11:17 2 peter 1:4 john 16:23 2 cor 1:20
Waiting is not my specialty at all. Matter of fact I think the line for patience was so long I just moved on to the next thing. So lately I am trying to protect my mind in Christ Jesus, but in order to do that I need to go to Him and then He protects my mind. Happy New Year...I was with a friend in the hospital a while ago. We were holding hands after surgery with grateful hearts and he said something that made me think about God...We were talking about New Years Eve and I was asking if I could get a kiss and maybe we could grab a bite that night, if he was feeling better by then. He was in for unexpected surgery with no family in town, so he was stuck with me to help him. Yea, I know, what was God thinking?? :) Anyway, he responded with a glint in his over medicated eyes, Baby you are going to get the "whole package". I thought *Wow!* He went on to say, we would get dressed up, go to a nice dinner and maybe some dancing! And he promised I would get a kiss! This got me to thinking about God and what He has for me, as my friend was still so tired because he had just come up from recovery, he fell back to sleep. So I sat with him and considered, God and what His "whole package" looks like for me. Hmmm...well He does know all my hearts desires, and He does love me more that I can imagine, so I wonder.....what is in His mind for me? I need more time to consider this....In the meantime, it was cool to wait with my friend as he recovered. I was able to spend time with God while sitting and waiting for my friend to wake up. It's funny how holding hands with a close friend, while they sleep brings my mind to God and how He chose me to be there. Maybe that is part of the total package for me. Getting to be there, just Be there for a friend, it certainly made my heart full. So the package isn't one thing, it's dinner, dancing and a kiss! And God could have other choices too, that can be added on as I go!
2 cor 2:11 josh 21:45 hebrews 11:17 2 peter 1:4 john 16:23 2 cor 1:20
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