2.23.2008

Someone has to go first.....

Yep...someone has to go first. It's life. It's hard, but it's life. In any situation, whether it is in the grocery line, the gas station, weigh in (yech), roller coaster ride, reading aloud in class, the exercise in gym class, the prayer request and yes the confession. God says someone has to go first. We go first, we turn to Him and suddenly He is there, standing right in front of us. Not so hard to go first with God!

All this talk about transparency, confession, real truth, real confession, the sin's we hide and the ones we share has got me thinking about my own experience.

Yes, I agree it stinks when I get transparent first and then others don't. Yes it brings pain, yes it causes tears and yes it could cause a harden heart to not share again. So I don't think the bottom line is not sharing, I think sometimes we share and get burned. Then the result is less transparency. We learn from the past because, well we just do. So the bigger picture is we all have been burned in relationships and God knows this. And so does the enemy!

How do others reach those of us who have been burned? Prayer...it's truly the only way. Sure we can chat a good chat, write a nice post, but really it's prayer. Jesus showed us this. He went first and prayed first. He was hoping we would follow Him. He showed us His transparency right there and laided it out there, knowing full well which one of us would do the same, because He is the All- Knowing God. He still became transparent for us, knowing the future. Is He bitter or sorry He came first because some really broke His heart by not accepting His offer? Brokenhearted, but not bitter, not hard hearted.

So who goes first? The prodigal son did. BUT....his father saw him coming and guess what? He came running towards him. So the son made the turn home and His dad came running. We all want that feeling, to be celebrated by the ones we love. But what if no celebration? What if mundane life is all we got? Does that mean we are not loved or don't have access? No, we always have access to the phone, email, chats and coffee talk, prayer. Listen, as my children grow older and I watch on the sidelines, I see so much I want to change. Should the father have told the prodigal to stay home? "Don't do that son you will regret it" Well I don't know if he did, but it seems it was time for the prodigal to leave, possibly college bound or just moving onto a career. So as the parent, he chooses to say good-bye and hang at home with the other son. Then the homecoming, the father runs to meet him. Runs, not walks, not finishes up what he is doing, he simply RUNS to his son. That is how I am going to feel when the phone rings and it's one my kids calling from their job, college or just life. "Hey mom, life is bad...wanna meet for coffee?" I pray for those calls to come. Answered prayers, that what these are. And I believe that is what it was for the father of the prodigal son. So do I just show up like it's just another day? NO WAY, I am going to be early for that meeting.. dressed for a party, camera and all and I may even bring an inspirational message or book, plus I will definitely be buying the coffee! Most of all I will bring compassion and love, for this is my child returning to me and most importantly Choosing me! How cool is that!

So who goes first....I don't know....but I am still willing no matter the possibility of pain...because EVERY disappointment is an appointment with God. Plus my kids our watching and someday they will come home needing my open heart and compassion. We don't get that way without transparency in our lives.

So whose going first? Are you willing?

2.22.2008

Do I have to?

Okay so I like to whine! I am not afraid to be honest here, I do my fair share and God only knows how often. I remember saying this so much when I was younger to my parents, now I hear it from my kids and my own lips to God. I cry out sometimes and say please, there has to be another way. He responds, as my parents did, His way is the best way.

Then one day I was looking into the Garden, you know, where Jesus was asking God if He had to. I don't think He was whining, but it makes me feel better to know that even Jesus said to His Father, "Do I have to?" Hebrews 5: 7-8 says,
"During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered".
I can't imagine how Jesus had to learn obedience, but it says here He did. So the God I worship actually knows how I feel when I say, "Do I have to watch my children suffer?" Do I have to watch the man I trusted with my heart with another woman?" "Do I have to feel this pain?" "Do I have to believe and trust that your plans are best for me?" "Do I have to, there must be another way."

God, you are so good to us, always holding us during all the storms and showing us more of You. Thank you that You thought of everything, down to telling your only Son that He needed to learn obedience too. You knew that I would need to know this one day in my journey.
In Jesus name I pray with thanksgiving, Amen.

(Taken from the One Year Book of Hope, by Nancy Guthrie)


2.13.2008

New Beginnings

New Beginnings, new starts, new plans, new roles...sounds good to me. I haven't posted in awhile. Haven't felt much like sharing about my situation. I have lots of questions for God in this process of life. But for the first time in a while, on Sunday during the message, I realized, it's okay. My life isn't turning out the way I wanted or thought, God is into new starts and fresh plans. So how does that work minute to minute? Breath to breath?

According to some of the verses from the study in the message on Sunday, 2 Cor 5:17 and John 3:1-3, it means every second the newness begins and walking in that new plan, new role begins. I am so thankful for me that this is truth. That God loves to start over. I guess that is why we wake up to a new day over and over again! He knew!

That is where I am right now, new start. Maybe I screwed up already or maybe I just need to a fresh look at my life. I am headed out a day alone with God. I have a place picked out and will spend about 2-4 hours there just listening to Him.
Iwas challenged to do this by a friend. Until next time...